Suing God

I like to read the news. Usually when I'm supposed to be working. I like reading the random news off of sites like Fark.com and Digg.com. Which is where I come across gems like these:

The headline reads: "Man sues church, claiming the spirit forced him to fall."

Aparently this dude went to church and prayed for God to give him a real spiritual experience. God says "sure", reaches down, and pushes him over like the thirteen year old cousin you wish would play in traffic. Dude is now suing the church for $2.5 million because he got what he asked for.

Link to article: http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080710/NEWS06/80710021

But wait! There's more....

Headline: "Can you sue the Almighty's publishers?"

A man in Michigan is suing the company that publishes the Bible because the Big B calls homosexuality a sin. Thanks to the Bible he has suffered from discrimination, general unhappiness, and a rift with his family. Apparently you can't blame the Bible for being a douche-bag.

Excuse me for a minute while I laugh hysterically. And then get sued by a pretentious gay man with too much time and money on his hands.

So this got me thinking. If the trend these days is outrageous lawsuits, I'm going to blow them all out of the water. I'm going to sue Satan for all the pain and suffering that's been dealt womankind. Here's how it's going to work:

If the Serpent hadn't tempted Eve, she wouldn't have bitten the damn Fruit. If she hadn't eaten the fruit, she wouldn't have offered it to Adam. And God wouldn't have gotten mad and kicking them both out of Eden. And since it's apparently all Eve's fault, she was punished with that Original Sin clause, and pain of childbirth, PMS, sexual discrimination, arranged marriage, nylons and stretch marks. All of which has been passed on to the female sex. And none of this would have happened if the Devil hadn't meddled.

Don't go trying to poke holes in my argument.... she didn't have to give in, God didn't have to put the tree in the garden and create the tempting situation to begin with, it's all a silly religious myth anyway.... whatever. Since when did facts have anything to do with litigation?

Maybe it'll be class action. Maybe I'll make the front page of Digg.com!

Hiring a good laywer,
Alette


"There is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept." -Ansel Adams