And Now For Something Completely Tasteless

Wow. So that last post was unusually emo, even for me. Which maybe makes this post all the more fitting.

Did you know there is an entire entry on Wikipedia listing unusual deaths in history? Seriously, it's here. I love Wikipedia!! Some people have the most fucked up deaths! If I have to die before me time, it'd better be cool enough to get me on Wikipeida.

Indigestion killed a lot of people: Henry 1 of England, King of Sweden Adolf Frederick, and Chrysippus, a Greek philosopher, who is believed to have died of laughter after watching his drunk donkey attempt to eat figs.

Then there's death by laughing: The Burmese king Nanda Bayin, The Scottish aristocrat Thomas Urquhart,

Or this poor soul who died from both: 1410: Martin I of Aragon died from a lethal combination of indigestion and uncontrollable laughing.

Death by monkeys. MONKEYS!!!! Alexander I of Greece was killed by a couple of damn, rabid MONEYS!

And then there's this little gem: 1947: The Collyer brothers, extreme cases of compulsive hoarders, were found dead in their home in New York. The younger brother, Langley, died by falling victim to a booby trap he had set up, causing a mountain of objects, books, and newspapers to fall on him crushing him to death. His blind brother, Homer, who had depended on Langley for care, died of starvation some days later. Their bodies were recovered after massive efforts in removing many tons of debris from their home.


And here are a few that really stand out from the pack:

458 BC: Aeschylus, Greek playwright, was killed when an eagle dropped a live tortoise on him, mistaking his bald head for a stone. The tortoise survived

336: Arius, the heretical priest who precipitated the Council of Nicea, passed wind and evacuated his internal organs. Farted out his guts!

1478: George Plantagenet, Duke of Clarence reportedly was executed by drowning in a barrel of Malmsey wine at his own request.

1979: Robert Williams, a worker at a Ford Motor Co. plant, was the first known man to be killed by a robot.

1994: Gloria Ramirez was admitted to Riverside General Hospital for complications of advanced cervical cancer. Before she died, her body mysteriously emitted toxic fumes that made several emergency room workers very ill. She has been dubbed as the "toxic lady" by the media.

And while it is terrible that they all died, and died horrible deaths, maybe it just goes to show that everyone really does have a purpose in life. So maybe they're purpose is to bring amusement to sick fucks like me.... well..... Yea, I'm going to hell.

And now I'm going to watch Child's Play. Because I just don't haven't gotten my fill of death yet. Fucking Chucky. Creepy, life-sized little bastard.

Cheers,
Alette



"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." -George Bernard Shaw